I want to apologize for not sending out more posts on this subject lately. Our life has been crazy busy lately.
Many changes happening. I have totally connected with the Holy Spirit in my life. I know he has been with me for years and I have tapped into his power before, but never to the degree I am now! God is awesome! I have been trying to meditate on God's Word, I can do all things through Christ who Strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 This is one of the verses I have been meditating on, and praying this verse, over the last couple of weeks. God has given me strength that I have not had for a very long time. He has been so amazing in his provisions for both Brian and I lately.
Brian and I have been struggling to get this house on the market for a couple of years now. As most of you who know us personally, know that Brian injured himself at work 4 and a half years ago. Our lives have been complete kayos since that time. Life as we knew it change dramatically. With Brian no longer being able to walk, and me having some pretty major health issues, and our income reduced majorly. In fact we lived one of those years with NO income at all. Had to live off the equity we had in our home, which we did have paid off. With our debt load now growing and both of us health wise un able to keep this house up, the house is listed on the market starting tomorrow. Over the course of the last couple of years we have been majorly blessed, with so many people, who have help us to get the house, to a more manage able state to get it on the market. Brian and I still have lots to get done over this next week, before we have realtors coming on tour. I believe we can do it through the strength of Christ! Which if you had ask me a few weeks ago, if this would get done I was in such a hopeless state I would have said "it wouldn't be for another year or so."
I have so much more I want to share with you but will have to continue at a later time. Remember there is so much power in God's word that we don't even realize, what we have available to us! There is help through Christ Jesus! So all of you who are suffering, I am excited to share more with you really soon. Hang in there is HOPE! HUGS Leonna
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Hang on by a thread!
Today, I am at the bottom of that dark, dark hole! I see no light. I don't want to live like this any longer. With suicide not an option, what can I do? I am in so much pain, mentally. In this world I have no value. Oh God take me to Heaven now! Let me out of this hell on earth! I love my kids and grandkids so much. I don't want to be a burden to them any longer. I can't even speak to my friends any longer, as I feel like such a terrible burden. I have drawn myself into a little cocoon. It is the only place I feel safe right now. Lord, I am hanging on to a tiny thread, to the fact that your word says you love me! That you value me. That you say, you have a purpose for me. Lord I believe your word, even though I can't see or feel it right now. That is what I will hang on to!!! Lord I pray that you will lift me up, remind me that it is You who loves me, and treasures me! Your the one Lord who matters, not these people here on earth especially the one who know just where to put the knife and twist it. No more shall he bring me down!!! No more!!! Strengthen me Father, Strengthen me!!! People always will let me down, but you Lord God are with me always, and will lead me in the way I should go. I thank you Father for that!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Today this is what I am doing to help myself!
I ordered myself some self help books and CD by Joyce Meyers. An article my sister Laura sent me encouraged me today. I am going to share the article as it may be helpful to other who suffer with depression.
Understanding and Overcoming Depression
Who You Are in Christ
Learning to Be Led by the Holy Spirit + How to Hear from God
Never Give Up! + More Than Conquerors
I am meditating on God's words "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. Rolling it over and over again in my mind. Rather than thinking about the negative things in my life, this is what I will choose to think on.
Article my sister sent me.
How to Prevent Slipping into Depression by Joyce Meyer
Does your happiness depend on everything in your life being just right? If you think you can't be happy until all your circumstances are right, you will never be happy. We all experience times in life when we feel down for various reasons, but we can't allow our circumstances to control our emotions. Satan seeks to fill our minds with negative thoughts and emotions that cause us to feel down. He is a discourager, and he pulls us down emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in every way he can. But Jesus is our Encourager, and He came to lift us up. He came to give us righteousness, peace and joy, and all these things cause us to feel up!
Everyone experiences times of frustration and distress over unfulfilled hopes and dreams. When things don't go according to our plans, it is normal to feel disappointment. But we must be careful how we deal with that feeling, because disappointment is the beginning stage of depression. If we remain in a state of disappointment for too long, it can turn into discouragement, despair, and finally depression. Psalm 30:5 tells us that ...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Things may make us feel sad temporarily, but we must not stay sad. Just as we cannot afford to stay mad very long, neither can we stay sad very long. If we do, Satan takes advantage of the open door and pushes his way further into our lives, bringing more serious problems with him.
Don't Trust Your Thoughts and Feelings
Our number one enemy is emotions. We tend to be led by how we feel, but we must realize that feelings are fickle; they change from day to day! We should be careful not to follow every thought that comes to our mind because our thoughts and feelings don't dictate truth to us. For many years of my life, I experienced regular depression. I would awaken many mornings with a little voice in my head saying, "I feel depressed." I believed this was my own thought, not realizing that it was Satan making suggestions to me through my mind. Later, when God drew me into a closer walk with Him and I began seriously studying His Word, I learned that I didn't have to follow every feeling and thought that I had. I began to speak aloud and say, "I will not be depressed." I learned to put on the garment of praise spoken of in Isaiah 61:3. We may not always feel like praising, but a victorious person does not have the luxury of living by feelings.
I've learned that staying disappointed can cause me to start feeling discouraged, which is a deeper problem than disappointment. But I've also learned that you can't be hopeful and discouraged at the same time. So as soon as the devil attacks us with disappointment and we start feeling discouraged, we need to turn to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to fill us with hope. A brief period of discouragement may not have a devastating effect, but long-term discouragement can lead to depression—a very serious problem.
Resist the Devil and Rejoice in the Lord!
Depression is defined in part as "a hollow; being in a low state; a state of sadness; dejection." The real cause of depression is not where we are, but our attitude about where we find ourselves. It is possible to learn to live on the other side of your feelings. We will always have feelings; they will never go away, but we can make our feelings line up with our decisions. That's why God gives us the fruit of self-control. James 4:7 tells us to resist the devil, and we must also resist depression, and anything that resembles it, because it is of the devil. Philippians 4:4 says, Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice! If we stay filled with the right thing, the wrong thing has no place.
If you don't let the devil impress you with what he does, then he can't oppress you; and if he can't oppress you, then he can't depress you. So choose to be led by the Holy Spirit and you can have victory over depression. We can choose to keep a hopeful attitude by renewing our minds with the promises found in God's Word. We can claim the promises as our own and stand in faith, believing God to help us overcome our feelings and move forward into better things. We can't control all of our circumstances, but we don't have to let what happens today ruin tomorrow. We can actually turn things around by making a decision to let go of the situations that caused the disappointment and discouragement, and move toward the good things God has planned for our future.
Many people are depressed because they can't face truth, but the Holy Spirit came to reveal truth to us. We can't get past depression until we quit making excuses and blaming everyone else. We must face the truth and take responsibility for our actions. When we do that and ask God to help us, the spirit of heaviness leaves us and we feel light and free. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:30, ...My burden is light and easy to be borne. Being depressed about circumstances does not change them, and it is a total waste of time and a thief of joy. So we must stop letting our feelings, mind, body, and past experiences rule us and allow God to give us a fresh plan, a new idea, a new goal! You can experience victory over your emotions by being led, guided, controlled, and ruled by the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus sent to us as our Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener and Standby to remain with us forever (see John 14:16). Thank God, we don't have to be disappointed, discouraged, despondent, depressed or in despair. Jesus is not only the Way, but He is also the way out! Jesus is our healer, our glory, and the lifter of our heads.
This article is taken from Joyce's audio teaching, Understanding and Overcoming Depression.
Understanding and Overcoming Depression
Who You Are in Christ
Learning to Be Led by the Holy Spirit + How to Hear from God
Never Give Up! + More Than Conquerors
I am meditating on God's words "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. Rolling it over and over again in my mind. Rather than thinking about the negative things in my life, this is what I will choose to think on.
Article my sister sent me.
How to Prevent Slipping into Depression by Joyce Meyer
Does your happiness depend on everything in your life being just right? If you think you can't be happy until all your circumstances are right, you will never be happy. We all experience times in life when we feel down for various reasons, but we can't allow our circumstances to control our emotions. Satan seeks to fill our minds with negative thoughts and emotions that cause us to feel down. He is a discourager, and he pulls us down emotionally, spiritually, financially, and in every way he can. But Jesus is our Encourager, and He came to lift us up. He came to give us righteousness, peace and joy, and all these things cause us to feel up!
Everyone experiences times of frustration and distress over unfulfilled hopes and dreams. When things don't go according to our plans, it is normal to feel disappointment. But we must be careful how we deal with that feeling, because disappointment is the beginning stage of depression. If we remain in a state of disappointment for too long, it can turn into discouragement, despair, and finally depression. Psalm 30:5 tells us that ...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Things may make us feel sad temporarily, but we must not stay sad. Just as we cannot afford to stay mad very long, neither can we stay sad very long. If we do, Satan takes advantage of the open door and pushes his way further into our lives, bringing more serious problems with him.
Don't Trust Your Thoughts and Feelings
Our number one enemy is emotions. We tend to be led by how we feel, but we must realize that feelings are fickle; they change from day to day! We should be careful not to follow every thought that comes to our mind because our thoughts and feelings don't dictate truth to us. For many years of my life, I experienced regular depression. I would awaken many mornings with a little voice in my head saying, "I feel depressed." I believed this was my own thought, not realizing that it was Satan making suggestions to me through my mind. Later, when God drew me into a closer walk with Him and I began seriously studying His Word, I learned that I didn't have to follow every feeling and thought that I had. I began to speak aloud and say, "I will not be depressed." I learned to put on the garment of praise spoken of in Isaiah 61:3. We may not always feel like praising, but a victorious person does not have the luxury of living by feelings.
I've learned that staying disappointed can cause me to start feeling discouraged, which is a deeper problem than disappointment. But I've also learned that you can't be hopeful and discouraged at the same time. So as soon as the devil attacks us with disappointment and we start feeling discouraged, we need to turn to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to fill us with hope. A brief period of discouragement may not have a devastating effect, but long-term discouragement can lead to depression—a very serious problem.
Resist the Devil and Rejoice in the Lord!
Depression is defined in part as "a hollow; being in a low state; a state of sadness; dejection." The real cause of depression is not where we are, but our attitude about where we find ourselves. It is possible to learn to live on the other side of your feelings. We will always have feelings; they will never go away, but we can make our feelings line up with our decisions. That's why God gives us the fruit of self-control. James 4:7 tells us to resist the devil, and we must also resist depression, and anything that resembles it, because it is of the devil. Philippians 4:4 says, Rejoice in the Lord always [delight, gladden yourselves in Him]; again I say, Rejoice! If we stay filled with the right thing, the wrong thing has no place.
If you don't let the devil impress you with what he does, then he can't oppress you; and if he can't oppress you, then he can't depress you. So choose to be led by the Holy Spirit and you can have victory over depression. We can choose to keep a hopeful attitude by renewing our minds with the promises found in God's Word. We can claim the promises as our own and stand in faith, believing God to help us overcome our feelings and move forward into better things. We can't control all of our circumstances, but we don't have to let what happens today ruin tomorrow. We can actually turn things around by making a decision to let go of the situations that caused the disappointment and discouragement, and move toward the good things God has planned for our future.
Many people are depressed because they can't face truth, but the Holy Spirit came to reveal truth to us. We can't get past depression until we quit making excuses and blaming everyone else. We must face the truth and take responsibility for our actions. When we do that and ask God to help us, the spirit of heaviness leaves us and we feel light and free. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:30, ...My burden is light and easy to be borne. Being depressed about circumstances does not change them, and it is a total waste of time and a thief of joy. So we must stop letting our feelings, mind, body, and past experiences rule us and allow God to give us a fresh plan, a new idea, a new goal! You can experience victory over your emotions by being led, guided, controlled, and ruled by the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus sent to us as our Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener and Standby to remain with us forever (see John 14:16). Thank God, we don't have to be disappointed, discouraged, despondent, depressed or in despair. Jesus is not only the Way, but He is also the way out! Jesus is our healer, our glory, and the lifter of our heads.
This article is taken from Joyce's audio teaching, Understanding and Overcoming Depression.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
This post came from facebook. . .it is so well said!
by Tom Clempson
Robin Williams didn’t die form suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he h...ad died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
Robin Williams didn’t die form suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he h...ad died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”.
The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…
The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…
You think there is help, but there is not much out there for those who need it.
This is a sad and true statement.
Personally, I have had my Dr. tell me that she can give me a requisition for the hospital, but she has had patient turned away, and it is not to likely I would be admitted. I have a couple of friends who have attempted suicide, before getting the help that they needed. The medical system sucks big time, if that is what it comes to when your down and out, no help, unless you are doing yourself in. Thankfully those couple of friends lived. But I also know other who did not live. How sad this is! My heart aches for those left behind, my heart aches for those that are gone, such a waste of life, of beautiful people. People who have given so much of themselves for others, yet they don't see their own value.
I myself have suffered with depression since my early 20's possibly earlier than that. Not many people know this about me. I am presently in one of my worst bouts of it ever. It feels so hopeless!!! Life looks so dark, everywhere it seems that bad thing are happening to people. It is hard to see any light at all, when I am so low. It is hard to go on. For me, I will not let suicide be the answer. Although I must admit that my thought have gone that direction lately. I know full-well Suicide is a selfish act, and it brings with it, much horror and misery to those that are left behind. In my own pain (though suicide may take my pain away), I can not bring that kind of pain upon those that I love so much. But, what then . . .suffering the way I am is not an answer either. There has to be some other way!!! May the Good Lord of Heaven above help me through this, the pain is so unbearable at times.
I know at times, I feel like a burden to my family and friends. I don't want my negativity to be showing to others, I don't want to burden others with my problems. I do have those I talk to but I find myself pulling away more and more. Less and less contact with people, family and friends. They don't need to hear my problems they have their own. I need to be there for them. But I am finding that for the first time in my life I just can't do it any more. My cup is empty!!! There is nothing left to give. Most people have no idea what life is like when you are in this dark, dark place. They mean well with what they say and do. But again they don't know how to help. They too feel helpless in the situation. It is only by the grace of God, that I get through each day.
I know that God Values me!
On this note I am going to sign off for today. Hopefully by coming out of the closet, and being open with people, this blog will some how help me and others too. My love and HUGS to all!!!
Personally, I have had my Dr. tell me that she can give me a requisition for the hospital, but she has had patient turned away, and it is not to likely I would be admitted. I have a couple of friends who have attempted suicide, before getting the help that they needed. The medical system sucks big time, if that is what it comes to when your down and out, no help, unless you are doing yourself in. Thankfully those couple of friends lived. But I also know other who did not live. How sad this is! My heart aches for those left behind, my heart aches for those that are gone, such a waste of life, of beautiful people. People who have given so much of themselves for others, yet they don't see their own value.
I myself have suffered with depression since my early 20's possibly earlier than that. Not many people know this about me. I am presently in one of my worst bouts of it ever. It feels so hopeless!!! Life looks so dark, everywhere it seems that bad thing are happening to people. It is hard to see any light at all, when I am so low. It is hard to go on. For me, I will not let suicide be the answer. Although I must admit that my thought have gone that direction lately. I know full-well Suicide is a selfish act, and it brings with it, much horror and misery to those that are left behind. In my own pain (though suicide may take my pain away), I can not bring that kind of pain upon those that I love so much. But, what then . . .suffering the way I am is not an answer either. There has to be some other way!!! May the Good Lord of Heaven above help me through this, the pain is so unbearable at times.
I know at times, I feel like a burden to my family and friends. I don't want my negativity to be showing to others, I don't want to burden others with my problems. I do have those I talk to but I find myself pulling away more and more. Less and less contact with people, family and friends. They don't need to hear my problems they have their own. I need to be there for them. But I am finding that for the first time in my life I just can't do it any more. My cup is empty!!! There is nothing left to give. Most people have no idea what life is like when you are in this dark, dark place. They mean well with what they say and do. But again they don't know how to help. They too feel helpless in the situation. It is only by the grace of God, that I get through each day.
I know that God Values me!
On this note I am going to sign off for today. Hopefully by coming out of the closet, and being open with people, this blog will some how help me and others too. My love and HUGS to all!!!
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